That`s NDA territory

Law is a funny little playbook, and to win in court it is not necessarily enough to be "right". Your lawyer plays a huge role in advising you, addressing risks, communicating and generally being the "manager of your case". So, first of all, do not be stingy when choosing your lawyer, a senior lawyer with genuine expertise in what you are going through will be worth every penny.

I also feel like it's worth noting: if you do not feel the vibe with your lawyer, switch it up as soon as you can. And be aware of your own ego, if your lawyer is genuinely advising against you, it might just be the legal advice. Personally, I wish I had been more patient to see how some situations fully played out before seeking legal advice.

I can tell you one thing; a senior lawyer is expensive. So you will need to actually use your fck u money. It is quite difficult to take on those kinds of costs without a buffer. It's crazy to me that if you cannot cover your legal expenses personally, you are not eligible to be served justice? Fck that honestly, and it is a huge reason to have as generous a buffer account as possible, because you truly never know what the universe has planned for your next lesson.

Also, talking about money: I learned that it is quite normal that lawyers assume the losing party will pay the invoice. So if you end up covering your own costs, they might adjust the invoice to your favor.

Showing up as the person you want to be does not always make life easier, in this case, it made my life a lot harder. Now that it's all wrapped up, I can be honest about what it actually cost: months of emotional, financial, and practical weight I didn't fully see coming when I made the decision to move forward with this, because I, above all, wanted to do the right thing, and show up as the best version of myself.

If I'm ever faced with something similar, I won't assume things will work out simply because I'm on "the right side" of them. I'll assume the hardest version of events, and then ask myself whether that's where my energy belongs. Because doing "the right thing" is rarely just one path, there are many right ways forward, and the real skill is choosing the one that's worth your energy.

I heard this on a podcast recently, and it's the kind of line that rearranges your mind. We suffer most of our fear solely in our heads, and when the situation finally does play out, if it plays out at all, it's often smaller, quieter, and probably nothing to be so scared of. Which means most of the suffering was optional, and we chose to take it or not.

Our brains are optimized to give attention to threats, except modern "threats" are very different in nature from the ones our brains were originally designed for, so the reaction often just creates anxiety with nowhere to go. We also have a built-in negativity bias: 1000nds of years ago, missing an opportunity was survivable, while missing a threat wasn't. This makes our minds practically engineered to render worst-case scenarios.

What this taught me is that fear will always feel loud. You don't have to wait for it to quiet down before you move, or even decide to listen to it at all. Knowing you can hear it, acknowledge it, and walk ahead anyway, makes you powerful.

I wrote down the exact outcome I wanted in detail before the day. Details, reactions, the mood in the room, how I would show up, the result, and much more. I kept the note around so I'd see it when I woke up and went to bed, and I visualized myself in the preferred scenario several times before showing up.

And it turned out (pretty much) like I had written down! It's not the first time this has happened to me, and the power of it seems to grow the more I practice it. Note: Thinking fearfully about the future is also manifesting, just with the wrong script. So if you're going to imagine a future, always imagine the reality you prefer.